New Purposes
by ASliverOfHope
Summary: The war between the Order and the Earl has ended, and now that Lavi has left Allen struggles to find a new purpose. Allen is still in love with Lavi but after five years does Lavi still feel the same? Laven one-shot.


**A/N: This one-shot has been bouncing around my head for a few days now and I had to get it out so I could focus on my existing projects. I will finish the others, but here's a little Laven drabble. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man, its characters, the setting… etc. **

"Okay this isn't working," Lavi sighed stopping himself from getting into another fight with Allen

"What?" Allen stopped surprised.

"This," Lavi gestured to himself and then to Allen, "us."

"What?" Allen repeated again stupidly.

"Our relationship! It really started out great and I was the happiest I have even been, but now all we do is fight. We both know that our relationship has to come to an end soon the war is ending soon. You know Allen, I'll have to leave once the war with the Earl is over because there'll be no more history for Bookman and I to record. I'll have to drop my 'Lavi' persona and move on."

"Drop the 'Lavi persona' you mean all of this was a lie? A mask?" Allen's eyes filled up with tears.

"No Allen, like I told you before it may have started out that way, but when I am around you I _am _Lavi. Lavi has become more than a persona to me, he has become part of the real me." Lavi paused, holding back the tears that threatened his eyes. "I'm going to have to leave soon and I have to leave Lavi behind along with all my memories of the order and… and of you."

"Well, then we should make the most of the time we do have. Right?"

The bookman felt sick thinking of leaving Allen behind; he knew he shouldn't have gotten attached. But after seeing Allen all bandaged up in the hospital, all beat up and yet he still looked like a white, smiling angel, Lavi knew he was in love. "Allen I don't know if I can now. All I'll be thinking about when we are together, is how little time we have left. I don't want that for us."

Allen felt his stomach drop and he felt like he had be hit by Lavi's hammer, in fact he wish Lavi had hit him instead of this. "B-but don't you love me?"

That was it for Lavi, he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Seeing Allen's dejected face all he wanted to do was run into the younger one's slim arms, but he knew that it would only make this harder. "Allen how could you think that? Of course I love you. I've been in love with ever since I met you that day in the hospital, you were so broken down and yet I saw so much hope in that beautiful smile of yours. I can't, I just… I" Lavi trailed off loosing his words in a sob.

Allen swallowed, "So this is it for us huh?"

"Yeah I suppose it is."

"Lavi can I have a small favor from you?"

"Uh yeah, whatever you want Allen. Name it and I'll make it happen." He smiled sadly yet sincerely at Allen.

"A good-bye kiss?" Lavi nodded taking Allen into his arms and kissed him softly. Allen quickly pulled Lavi closer demanding entrance; Lavi quickly opened up and let Allen's tongue explore his mouth.

Lavi broke this kiss, gasping for air, "Good-bye Allen," Lavi turned and ran for his room. He shut the door behind him as another wave of tears engulfed him.

* * *

The war was over and Allen had defeated the Earl, everyone was celebrating but Allen could help but feel his heart breaking all over again. _The war is over I should be happy right? _Allen sighed, _no I can't be happy and celebrate with the others because this means Lavi is leaving. _Allen stood up and left the cafeteria, he couldn't stand everyone's happy moods anymore.

"Allen!" Lavi grabbed him on his way to his room.

"Oh, hi Lavi."

"Allen I'm leaving, now."

"Well bye then." Allen tried to turn and leave, but Lavi stopped him.

"Allen I know I hurt you, but that was never my intention. I love you, I always have, and I always will. You were my best friend, then my lover, and you helped me feel again. I was always my happiest when I was around you, I want you to know that."

"I was happiest around you as well. I want to beg you not to go right now but I can't come between you and becoming a bookman."

"I would stay with you in a heartbeat but I can't. Bookman has no one else, he needs me to take over for him."

"I know and I've come to terms with that. It's just…" Allen paused trying hold back the tears, "it's just I never thought it would be this hard.

"I know, it's hard for me too. I know in my heart that we were meant to be and I truly believe that. We'll meet again someday and maybe we'll make it work then." Lavi pulled Allen into a quick hug. As he pulled away he felt himself leaning in to kiss Allen. _No if I kiss him now I may never be able to leave. _"Bye Allen." He turned to leave then turned back, "no good-bye is too final. I know we'll meet again, so see you later Allen."

"Yeah see you later Lavi." He watched Lavi's back until he could no longer see him, a single tear running down his cheek.

* * *

_Dear Lenalee,_

_I can't believe it's been 5 years since the war ended, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while I know I promised to. How are things going? I heard from your last letter that you and Kanda are going out now, I can imagine Komui's reaction to that but he had to let you go sometime. I am really happy for you both, I'm glad he finally confessed to you. He's like you for so long, but you know Kanda. He's really the __best__ at showing his emotions. Nothing to exciting to report on my end, since the end of the war I'm having trouble finding my purpose. I became an exorcist in the first place because of my arm, also because I promised myself and Mana that I would keep walking. I knew protecting this world from Akuma was part of that path, but now that there are no Akuma and the Earl is defeated, I don't know what to do now. I'm still traveling around because I can't stay in one place for too long, so I will keep walking and keep moving._

_Right now I am writing from a small town in southern Italy. I would be lying if I said I wasn't also looking for Lavi. I still think about him all the time, shouldn't I be over him by now? I don't know. I have tried to see other people but I just always end up thinking of him and wishing they were more like him. I wonder where he is now, I wonder if he is even still Lavi? I'll try to come home visit you all soon. I hope everything is going well with you and I'll write again soon._

_Love,_

_Allen_

Allen looked up from his letter and out into the night sky. He moved onto the balcony of his small hotel room, _where are you Lavi? Do you still think of me? Are you looking at this same night sky, thinking of me? _Allen laid his head down on his arms loosing himself in the night sky.

The next morning Allen got up like usual and did his morning exercises and then left to go to get something to eat at a local café. "Allen?" Allen's head shot up as he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He dropped the coffee cup in his hands as he saw the tall redhead in front of him.

"Lavi?"

"Actually, its just Bookman now. Yeah, Bookman died about two years ago, just of old age, and passed the title on to me." Lavi sat down after the waitress finished cleaning the spilled coffee. "What brings you to this part of Italy?"

"Oh just doing a bit of traveling. You? Bookman duties?"

The bookman smiled warmly, "yeah, well this place is really beautiful this time of year, I could see why you decided to come here. So what have you doing since the defeating the Earl?"

"Oh not much just traveling mainly."

"Having a hard time settling down since the ending of the war?"

_How did he know? I guess he was always very perceptive. _"Yeah actually."

"I know same here, but my bookman duties have always kept me on the move anyway."

_I can't do this. I feel sick; this feels too familiar. I want to just grab him and kiss him but I can't because he's not Lavi anymore. Well he is but at the same time he's so different. _"I'm sorry Lavi, I mean Bookman, but I actually have to get going. It's been really good seeing you again." Allen laid the money for the coffee on the table and left quickly. _Oh Lenalee, I saw Lavi for the first time today and I __**ran**__ away from him. _

The bookman sat there stunned, _no! After all this time I can't just let him go like that! I may never see him again, there's no way we happened to be in the same town at the same time by coincidence! It has to be fate that we met now. Bookman is not around and I can be with him now; I can make the rules now. _He leapt up from the table and ran after Allen. He scanned the crowd until he saw a flash of white as the door of a small hotel closed. The redhead ran up to the hotel pulling the doors open. His heart leaping as he saw Allen, "Allen wait!" He ran and threw his arms around the surprised whitehead.

"Lavi? I mean Bookman, wha—"

"No call me Lavi. You know around you I've always been Lavi."

"Lavi what are you doing here?"

"Chasing you of course I haven't seen you in five years of course I couldn't let you go so soon." He pulled away from Allen, his green eye meeting Allen's gray ones. "Allen do you still have feelings for me? Because I still have feelings for you, I thought when I stopped being Lavi I would stop loving you. I was wrong, it wasn't just the Lavi persona who loved you it was me, no matter what persona I took on I couldn't forget about you. I understand if you've gotten over me or if you don't still don't love me because of how I hurt you. I was right when I said we'd meet again. Bookman, the former one, does not have control over me anymore I can make the rules now. Allen, come with me! We could travel together; I could do my work as bookman and still be with you. What do you say? And if that doesn't work for you, we could figure something else out. I lost you once and that was the biggest mistake of my life and I won't be making it again."

Allen stood there stunned he couldn't believe it; Lavi had still felt the same after all this time. He looked into Lavi's hopeful face and smiled, "Yes, yes I'll come with you!"

Lavi's heart felt like it was going to burst, "really? Does that mean you still love me too?"

"Yeah for some reason I could never get over you either." Lavi pulled Allen into his arms and kissed him passionately. The small crowd that had formed around them in the lobby clapped. Allen and Lavi pulled away, embarrassed. "Um, let's go up to my room." Allen grabbed Lavi's hand and the two of them race up the stairs. As soon as they shut the door Allen slammed Lavi against it, his tongue forcing his way into Lavi's mouth. Both boys moaned finally feeling the pleasure they could only get from one another. Lavi let Allen dominate him as he slid his hands up Allen's shirt loosing himself in the familiar skin he missed. Lavi pushed Allen's tongue back into his mouth and hungrily explored the younger one's mouth. Allen moaned, tangling his pale hands into Lavi's fiery hair. They finally broke the kiss leaning their foreheads together to catch their breath.

"Oh Allen, I missed you so much." Lavi pulled Allen's shirt off kissing his neck, leaving small red marks on the exposed skin.

"Lavi" Allen moaned.

Lavi grinned against Allen's neck. "Oh, I've missed that too." He pulled away, "Allen? Are you sure you really want to do this? Traveling around with me, it's not always the most fun job, I mean you never stay in one place, never have a permanent home."

"As long as I am with you I'm home." Allen smiled caressing Lavi's face softly. Lavi grinned pulling Allen in for another kiss.

* * *

_Dear Lenalee,_

_ A year has passed and Lavi and I are still as happy as ever, I mean we aren't perfect, no couple is. We still fight occasionally but we know now how to make it work because nothing is stopping us from being together this time. Lavi is still Lavi when his around me but around others he is the more serious Bookman, I kind of like to think that I have "Lavi" all to myself. How are things with you and Kanda, has Komui finally come around? I'm so glad you are getting married; Lavi and I will definitely come home for that. _

_I have some more exciting news! Lavi and I are married now. Well, I mean couples of the same sex can't get married legally, but we've bought rings and promised we'd be together forever, kind of like marriage vows right? It was funny how it happened actually we just had our one year (back together) anniversary and I had bought him a simple gold ring to ask him to be my 'husband' and after I asked and he laughed opening a similar black box revealing a similar gold ring. He said he was going to ask me the same thing. So we said wedding type vows and made them like promise rings. I surprised him later by getting them engraved to say "Allen and Lavi, forever and always" on the inside_

_Lavi's actually really sweet when people ask about our rings. Just the other day I was meeting Lavi for lunch and I heard him talking about it with the waitress at the café, who asked him if he was married, pointing to his ring. He smiled, a look of love coming over his emerald eye and said, "in a way yes," when she asked him what he meant he said "well we can't really get married so the rings are like a promise to each other that we'll be together forever, like being married." She then asked why we couldn't get married and he told her proudly that we were both boys, but that didn't matter because we love each other all the same. The look of love returned to eye as I approached telling him I heard the whole thing and I kissed him enthusiastically in front of the whole restaurant. It was the best day of my life. _

_I can't wait to see you when Lavi and I come home for your wedding. See you soon. _

_Love, _

_Allen _

"Allen!" Lavi called from the bedroom of their hotel room.

"Yes, love?"

"Stop being boring and come join me"

"Gladly." Allen smiled climbing on top of Lavi on the bed, capturing him in a kiss.


End file.
